


all the secrets in her world

by orphan_account



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: Canon-typical language, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-series 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Our greatest loves are never who we thought they would be at sixteen.”
Kudos: 21





	all the secrets in her world

**Author's Note:**

> _But Mariella just crossed her arms  
>  As she walked up the stairs  
> And she went into her bedroom  
> And she sat on her bed  
> And she looked in the mirror  
> And she thought to herself  
> "If I wanna play, I can play with me  
> If I wanna think, I'll think in my head"_  
> \- kate nash
> 
> this has been in my notes for almost five years, and i can’t bring myself to write more or delete it, so i’m gonna post this here and be done with it. i love these girls. i hope they found each other again post-series and became real friends. ty to this show for writing some of the most interesting and complicated female characters i’ve had the pleasure of knowing. skins was not a perfect tv show, but it tried to be an honest one. i liked that.

“Was Sid the love of your life?”

Cassie takes a deep breath in. Out. Shakes her head. 

“No.” 

Effy looks as surprised as Effy Stonem is capable of looking. She takes a drag off her cigarette to mask the shock.

On an exhale, she admits, “Our great loves are never who we thought they would be at sixteen. I didn’t love Freddie, either. I wasn’t capable of it.”

“Now that’s not true,” Cassie protests, “You loved Freddie! Though it might have been different than the love he felt for you.”

Effy looks the way Effy looks when she’s crying on the inside. She’s still the most beautiful person Cassie has even seen up close.

“He didn’t love me, really. He didn’t even know me. I never let him, Cass. I never let anyone get close enough to see.”

“Cook knew you,” Cassie reminds her, very gently, and wonders if it was a mistake to say it out loud.

Effy shoots her a scornful glare. “What was broken about me knew the broken parts of Cook. Broken things belong together. We were a matched set.”

“You and Naomi were a matched set, but not because you were broken. Because you were brave.”

Effy does cry, then. Prettily, and just a little bit. She’s done in the blink of an eye. She produces a tissue from her designer handbag and dabs daintily at a few stray tears, careful not to disturb her makeup. Says, “Like you and Chris.” 

Cassie is careful to keep her face very still. She’s had lots of practice.

“You miss him,” Effy insists, not a question.

“I loved”— Cassie struggles to breathe—“I loved Chris. More than anyone could know. It’s my fault he’s dead.”

“No,” Effy insists, “it’s fucking not.”


End file.
